The theme causes controversy at these day and age still. By definition virgin is that person, man or woman, who hasn’t had any sexual relation yet. Up until few decades ago, that would be the best definition for someone thought as a virgin.

Currently it’s said that someone is virgin when still not having sexual relations with vaginal penetration, in other words, even when having oral sex or anal sex practiced, technically she still a virgin. There is who defends the idea that those who get into oral sex or anal sex are no longer virgins, once that would mean that they would have commenced their sexual life, although there are those who might say otherwise.

Virginity per se started to grow importance about the Middle Ages, when began to be employed as object of barter in the commercial allegiances between members of aristocracy, circa the IV and XV century. The very presence of the hymen became a sign of honor and prize for the woman. Furthermore being virgin turned out to be synonym of status-quo sprawling itself into all other layers of society.   

With the advent of the sexual revolution, virginity has begun to receive lesser attention. Such devaluation is being directly related to the quest for a full range of freedom, sexual inclusive, as of women mostly. The trend was to shag at will, neither guilt nor fear. Hence in the last decades, there could be said that virginity became option, a choice.

Nowadays what is being observed in clinical practice is that many youngsters are opting for staying casts themselves, virgins until marriage. A great many adolescents report that as a question of self-worthiness, other than waiting romantically by the prince charming. 

Some state even kisses exchanged ever, let alone dating.  These teens had never thought of masturbation because they believe that sexual abstinence turn them superior in relation to those who can’t help doing without sex.

There those famous-ones who assumed already their virginity in various sectors of the media.  Actresses, singers, fashion-models, and even pageants already admire virginity in public. Some jumped on the bandwagon only for the sake of self-promotion, others waved the flag to take stance and promote their ideals.

I didn’t bring it across so as to stand up for it or hoist a flag against or in favor of virginity. I believe that to be or not a virgin is a choice. The reason we opt for either conditions does not make nobody inferior or superior to the other, and all the way round it places both equal in confront of their rights and values. It’s the maturity acquired along with personal experiences, keeping conflicts with their values at bay that the youth should make their choice, and in this case, all there is left for us it’s to respect the human being, much as the option he made.

Kelly Cristine Barbosa Cherulli
Psychologist